Performance reviews, 360 degree feedback, fast feedback is common theme in today's corporate america. Employers today care less about well being of employees. Workplaces are stressful and challenging. Businesses are way more dynamic than ever before. This trickles down to less planning and more adaptivity, be it in your roadmap, your career growth, your next promotion. There is always uncertainty.
In this age it is ever important to understand the difference between self-worth, entitlement, resilience and endurance. The difference between the four can be trick and the balance is key to good emotional health.
Self worth : Firstly, your year end performance is not a measure of your self worth. The true measurement of self worth is not how a person feels about their positive experiences but rather how they feel about their negative experiences. You have probably heard about the self esteem movement : feelings of self-esteem were the key to success in life. However, overdose of this can lead to entitlement. Read more about entitlement below. Healthy doses of self esteem needs to be balanced by healthy doses of self awareness and reality checks.
Entitlement : People who feel entitled view every occurrence in their life as either an affirmation of, or a threat to, their own greatness. If we have problems that are unsolvable, our unconscious figures that we are uniquely special. Somehow unlike others, the rules must be different for us.
If you have a problem, chances are more people have had it in the past or will have it in the future. It just means that you may not be as special as you thought. Your problems may not be priviledged in severity or pain.
How do you balance between self-worth and entitlement and not feel like suffering/entitled ?
The answer is mindset. Do you have a mindset of resilience or endurance ?
Endurance and resilience sound very similar, but are very different. Endurance is short term and resilience is long term.
In this age it is ever important to understand the difference between self-worth, entitlement, resilience and endurance. The difference between the four can be trick and the balance is key to good emotional health.
Self worth : Firstly, your year end performance is not a measure of your self worth. The true measurement of self worth is not how a person feels about their positive experiences but rather how they feel about their negative experiences. You have probably heard about the self esteem movement : feelings of self-esteem were the key to success in life. However, overdose of this can lead to entitlement. Read more about entitlement below. Healthy doses of self esteem needs to be balanced by healthy doses of self awareness and reality checks.
Entitlement : People who feel entitled view every occurrence in their life as either an affirmation of, or a threat to, their own greatness. If we have problems that are unsolvable, our unconscious figures that we are uniquely special. Somehow unlike others, the rules must be different for us.
If you have a problem, chances are more people have had it in the past or will have it in the future. It just means that you may not be as special as you thought. Your problems may not be priviledged in severity or pain.
How do you balance between self-worth and entitlement and not feel like suffering/entitled ?
The answer is mindset. Do you have a mindset of resilience or endurance ?
Endurance and resilience sound very similar, but are very different. Endurance is short term and resilience is long term.
If resilience is lively, challenging, bouncy and full of flexibility; endurance is characterised by stiffness, survival, cutting off from oneself to get through it. When we endure, we keep going heads down through difficult situations and heavy workloads, sacrificing sleep, activities that we enjoy, relationships with others and self care promising that when this current storm is over, we will rest, connect, get fit, eat healthily. But what happens?
As you have read in the previous posts, life is about moving from one milestone to another. It is about solving a new set of problems. Once you solve a set, there is another set at home or at work which demands you endure again. So the cycle starts again.
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